More tranny stories later!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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