You work out of a Hotel?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
