lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
