He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
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Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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