I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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