Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
