Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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