btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I need a beard to bite.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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