First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize