I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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