the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
