never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
