pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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