I want you more than these girls want KFC
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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