so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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