i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
