Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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