i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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