I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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