Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I party with great urgency now.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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