Whod you bang
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
All the doctor said was why
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
