He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Boobs are out for the taking
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
