Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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