How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
