We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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