Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize