I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
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Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
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The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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