shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
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