shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
