I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
