woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
