I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
