We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
