Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize