I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
