CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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