Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
