On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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