i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
