I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
