not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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