currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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