are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can't turn off my feet"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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