when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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