Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
