Are we in a gay sports bar?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
