Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
