Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
