david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
