I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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