yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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