It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
