Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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