So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize