i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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