There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
