Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
