You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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