Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
