The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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