Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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