but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
